Water Me
by yassp
Summary: Reyna is heartbroken after the end of a three year relationship. After some grueling months, she gets back up on her feet and gets her life under control. Thalia is Jason's rebellious sister and there's something about her that's been driving Reyna crazy.
1. A fire of devotion

**I**

 _And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasted 20 years...What kind of man loves like this?_

* * *

I don't even know where to begin. I don't know at what point my life got so fucked up. I thought I was destined to live a normal life—one with a white picket fence, my soul mate, some puppies, kids (maybe, not really), and a successful career. I thought the road to getting there would be a bumpy one, but an easy one at that. No.

No.

No. Life's a little bitch. She likes to fuck with you. Leave you in shambles just when you think you're doing good. In the past few months I've discovered that life doesn't really work out the way you want it to and she enjoys keeping you on your toes.

Allow me to elaborate. In order to understand my story, we must go back about three years ago…

I was happy. The happiest of girls in his arms. I swore that every time he said 'I love you', he meant it and that we'd be together forever. He was the one I'd marry and we'd travel to his family's home in Mexico. We could build our own home there or in Puerto Rico with a huge library! One wall would hold all my books- Yates, Neruda, Verlaine, Patterson, Shakespeare, fucking Whitman! His side would hold manuals and books on chemistry and physics. It'd be our love nest. The summers would be spent on the Cayman Island beaches where our skin would turn lovely shades of darker browns. Together we could grow, cosplay StarWars and raise our Latino kids with Spanish and an awareness to all the beauty of the world. Mom and Dad had discovered the main one: _love_.

But a storm wiped the beaches clean and one day, I found myself lying on the rough pavement several blocks over his home with bloody knees and un-fixable heart. That summer I jogged twice a day by his house just to see if he was home. I bombarded his phone with voicemails and texts. I even tackled his email. You would think that after dating for almost three years Leo would show his face and tell me it was really over. But he kept me hanging by a thread, suspended before a dark abyss. And when he finally did call, I gave myself to him like I always had. I trusted him and though he wouldn't hurt me again. He was mine and I was his. The sun shone once more on that beach.

In August, he left for college and said he didn't have time for me. I told him, "If you really loved me, you'd find the time." But he didn't. He left to some fancy school in California. Stanford or something like that to study mechanical engineering. I waited by the phone like an idiot for texts and calls but Leo never called, and he never even bothered to tell me it was over, again.

In September, as I sat down on the cold wooden desks in my high school Genetics class, I realized he didn't love me.

In October, he didn't even bother calling for my birthday. You date someone for three years and you'd at least expect a 'Happy Bday' text or something. Maybe a post on Facebook? Nope.

It was November when he finally called, his voice ever so sweet. Music to my ears. He visited, and with his poisonous words I gave myself up to him again. But he left. In December I met someone new.

I was dating again in February. Percy. March, April, May,Graduation, June, July, August. College. September. SEPTEMBER I HAD A DREAM. A dream that fucked with my stability: His arms were around me and he called for me. He ached for me.

But I wouldn't give myself away. I resisted calling Leo. Why would I? I had Percy! But I didn't love Percy and Percy did not love me. We were each other's rebounds. He had just gotten over a painful break up with his ex, Annabeth. We were only kidding ourselves when we said I love you to each other. Eventually Percy and I broke up on mutual terms because there was no chemistry. I was busy with college anyway.

Sometime that month he called. Lonely, desperate and broken, I gave myself up to Leo again.

Stupid girl, I should have known. I couldn't help it. No one had ever made me feel the way he had. I was in love completely and madly with him despite all the shit he had put me through. Despite the fact that he never loved me, only loved my body and loved feeding his ego my love.

He'd see me every time he'd come home. I would ditch my classes and spend the mornings curled up in his arm, the smell of his skin and sheets burning in my nostrils. I had a blind dream that one day he'd come from college, lie in his bed with me and say, "I want to get back together again."

The year ended and when he left, he texted me daily. I soaked in his attention but as predicted, it didn't last.

It was Februray and he didn't call. In March he reached out again and just like that he was back. I remember sitting in his car, excited and mesmerized by his hands on the steering wheel. He turned to me and I thought he'd say it. "I want to get back together again. I'm sorry for being such a dick. I really do love you."

What came out of his mouth instead made my stomach churn and my heart shatter for the second time by the same guy. He asked, "Do you mind if I see someone while I'm seeing you?"

I was infuriated. I kicked and screamed and demanded to be taken back home. He was enraged too that I was acting like such a child. On the ride home I happened to glance back and saw a woman's bag and boots. "They're Calli's."

"WHO THE FUCK IS CALLI?" I yelled, slamming my fists on the dashboard. My heart broke for the second time that day, the third time by the same guy.

I slapped him several times, endangering my life as he drove but Leo deserved it. Man, did he deserve that and more. No pain on his cheeks would ever suffice to what was happening internally to me. I cried like never before. My mom and friends could offer no comfort. But I toughened up after that; it was the last straw. I swore off men, and promised I'd focus on school. For some long months I was content with my solitude. Rediscovered who Reyna Avila Ramirez Arellano was. Learned to love myself and all that I stood for.

 **August**

August came again and I was drowning myself in work. With the coaxing of my friend I went to a party. After some games with beer, which I wasn't good at, I retreated to the parents study. The walls had bookshelves and I sat on the floor reading the spines but not really touching them. I felt someone sit next to me and he made conversation. Drunk and alone, I was captivated by his marvelous blue eyes and his kind words. He called me the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. I felt a surge of confidence and kissed him the beauty before the books. It went too far because the next thing I knew I was lying on some random bed in the house. My head kept spinning and he kept kissing my neck. His hands were under my shirt, searching for the clasp to my bra in such an aggressive manner that I wasn't the slightest bit aroused. I began to laugh and laugh until he stopped and asked what was "so damn fucking funny". I told him that I wasn't the kind of girl for this. I didn't hook up with some random stranger. He wasn't special. He wasn't anything and he sure as hell didn't deserve my entire being. I left him in that room, puzzled and with a bruised ego.

I didn't say goodbye to anyone at that party. I ran as fast as I could and then called my father to pick me up several miles over.

School began at the end of August and I was excited to begin studying my Spanish and to meet new people. I joined group t school to promote justice and faith and community, so that was something I had to look forward to.

Most of all, I enjoyed the time I had to myself. I was a point in my life where I was content with my appearance, my life and overall, with who I was. I knew what I wanted and what I had to do to get it. I'd never been so sure of myself.

Indeed I did make friends. You won't believe the interesting people I met at school and their stories. God, I live for their stories. What interested me the most was the gifts people brought to my life. I met a girl,beautiful inside and out who was having boy troubles too. Piper didn't let the boys get to her. She was a freshman and wiser than I ever was. Her smile and radiant positivity captivated me. Whenever I'd see her in the hall, I'd forget my woes because only her light existed. My best friend from high school, Jason and I were closer than ever. His older sister, Thalia was transferring from school in New York to mine, Northwestern. I'd never met her before because after their parent's divorce, Thalia had stayed in New York with her father while Jason moved to Chicago with his mom. Anyway, I happened to finally meet her at a back-to-school party. She was cool with her IDGAF attitude and spiky short hair. I thought we instantly hit it off and during the next few weeks we'd see each other periodically. One day I ran into her in the computer lab where she invited me to do some kind of photo-shoot with her best friend, Zoe and Jason.

"I'm feeling inspired!"

Of course, I agreed because why not? She was my best friend's sister and I hadn't seen Jason in a while.

 **October**

We never did end up doing the photoshoot but it suddenly became our ritual to watch a new episode of show together every Wednesday. Thalia was different. Her sense of humor was something I'd never experienced before and I would find myself confused and amused. Jason and Thalia clicked like crazy. They'd laugh at nothing, finish each other's sentences and switch from random topic to another bizarre topic. Most of the time spent with them I was quiet, observing and thinking.

October is always a miserable month for me. My birthday falls on that month and there's something sad about celebrating your birthday with someone important missing. I was stressed that month because it was the first time I ever wanted to celebrate my birthday and my plans backfired. I was also feeling sick...strange. I couldn't place the feeling. It was like a huge mass of darkness was looming overhead waiting to suffocate me.

Eventually this began to take a toll on me. I lashed out at my parents, at my sister Hylla, at classmates and at my friends. I remember one morning laying on the couch in the ministry center, feeling like the worlds biggest piece of poo. I didn't want to go to class. I didn't want to deal with today. I felt hands poke me and found Thalia glaring at me. Her gaze softened when she saw how miserable I looked. She plopped next to me and offered her lap as a cushion while I rested my head. We were quiet. I closed my eyes and she played with my hair. I felt like a baby for that half hour, secure in the touch of a person who cared.

I woke up an hour later on that couch and Thalia was gone. I went to my second class where I checked my messages, full of pictures my ministry friends took while I slept. Things seemed a bit better after because I realized October was coming to an end. Soon the horrible month would be gone for another 12 months. I was feeling great, on top of the world, walking through the halls with my head held high when it happened.

It was like slamming into a brick wall going 90 miles per hour.

I saw Thalia, in her Doors t-shirt, down the hall coming my way. I saw her.

I _really_ saw her. She was the most beautiful thing in my field of vision and all I wanted was for her to tangle her fingers into my hair again. She was coming closer. She saw me and smiled. That smile, a smile only for me. She continued walking, past me, like nothing and I did too. I was weirded out by the sudden butterflies in my stomach and the rapid beating of my heart, that I halted. I turned to watch her go but she was already looking at me. In my head it's such dramatic scene, like something out of the movies, but it's so clear. As if it were just yesterday that this occurred. It gives me chills remembering several months later because that'd the exact moment my life got so fucked up.


	2. I think I'm ready

**I do not own PJO or HoO.**

II

 _And the end is unknown but I think I'm ready, as long as you're with me. - The XX_

* * *

 **November**

November came and I was angry. I found myself checking Thalia out at every opportunity. I was awestruck at how easily she moved around school. She took whatever she wanted without calculation and planning ahead. She made crude jokes and poked fun at you, noting your flaws and challenging your views. She laughed obnoxiously, at the most awful things like Holocaust and Jesus jokes. But she was also brilliant. Ask her about mythology and politics and her eyes would light up like fireworks on the fourth of July. She also liked literature, mainly poetry. We bonded over Sylvia Plath one night and I remember her smile when I told her how I felt about the poet. She went on and on about how Plath helped her and how her Plath's journals made her feel. I was on top of the world feeling her gaze on me like that. I could feel myself gaining Thalia's trust. One day while she was driving me home from school to her house, she turned to me at a red light and smiled awkwardly. "I've never really had girl friends before. One actually...Annabeth but she's back in New York. Having girl friends is way too much work."

I laughed. "It's fine."

"I guess we're supposed to braid each other's hair now and tell each other our deep dark secrets now," she joked, eyes firm on the red light.

"Not really," I replied, and earned a smile from Thalia.

Jason was still at work when we got to their home and we sat in the kitchen snacking on Oreo cookies. I rubbed the cookie part together and scraped the excess creme filling off, tossing it onto a piece of paper while Thalia poured us milk. When she saw what I was doing she rolled her eyes and popped the creme filling into her mouth. "You're such a fucking savage, Reyna. The filling is the best part."

"It tastes like diabetes in my mouth!"

She rolled her eyes and picked at my remains. We were quiet for a bit, Thalia checking her Tumblr while I studied her. She had short black hair with one side longer than the other, slight freckles over her nose, dark eyes that gave you the chills when they set on you, a small mouth with a tiny brown mole on her left upper lip. She was 5'09, half a foot taller than me with fairer skin than mine. Me, I was had long curly brown hair, basic brown eyes, full lips, tiny cold hands. tiny feet, tiny everything basically.

I was suddenly aware of Thalia studying me. "What's the most embarrassing thing you've done?"

I cleared my throat, embarrassed and dipped my cookie into the milk while I thought. "I was 13 and dated this guy I met online for like a month. I told him I love you like the first day."

Thalia burst out laughing, her teeth and lips had black specks on them. "Sounds like something you would do."

I blushed and hit her with a piece of creme filling. "What about you then? Hmmm?"

"EASY. One summer my friends and I broke into someones back yard to swim in their pool and we had no bath suits so I'm standing there with like, my four closest friends-Luke, Grover and Annabeth- and I start pulling my pants down only to realize I wore the biggest granny panties on earth. Big enough to hang on a flag pole but I thought, 'Fuck it, I've come so far and it's too hot to do anything else'. So take off my pants and my friends see and there's a huge silence but no one says anything. Anyway, we swim and hours later we're walking back home all wet and Grover says, 'So we're just gonna ignore Thalia's big ass underwear?' And they never let me live it down." I watched as a faint smile tugged at her lips and then she burst out laughing. "God, it was so _reckless."_

 _"_ Sounds like a blast."

"It really was...You've ever been with a guy?"

I shifted in my seat. "What do you-?"

"Are you a virgin?"

Sadness tugged at me inside. "Yes, but it was a mistake. I should have waited."

Thalia opened her mouth to speak but refrained. She picked at her black polished nails. "I was about to. We dated for like two years and when the moment came and I was taking off my clothes, I realized he wasn't the one and I walked out."

I commented on how I thought that was a wise decision and that she should value her virginity. Thalia just shrugged her shoulders and scrolled through her phone once more. Jason came home shortly after that and we ended up playing video games. Twenty minutes into the game and the controller kept slipping out of my clammy hands and I was sweating all over the place. I hurled my remote to Jason and quit.

"REYNA ITS JUST A GAMEEE!" he yelled, trying to kill his sister's character.

"There's no logic to it!"

Thalia clacked her tongue. "Biiiitch, you just use your weapon to kill the play-haaah!" Her character, Princess Peach kicked my Zelda off a platform. I tackled her into an attack of tickles. Thalia screamed for mercy and I let go. Later when I was turned away from her, she wrestled me down and pinned me to the floor.

"Thaliaaaa," Jason sighed, "hands off the baby!"

We ended up watching a movie, Hercules, and ordering Pizza. Within minutes Thalia was knocked out but would wake up to add commentary to the film. "That's the garden of rape!" and then she'd be snoring. Jason fell asleep too. I was confined between the two Graces, picking at the inaccuracies of the film. Jason lay near my stomach, his legs bent and hanging off the bed. I became extremely aware of Thalia beside me, snoring and blowing her warm breath in my ear. I knew that her proximity was closer than I wanted and I dared not to turn. But temptation got the best of me and I did. I stared at her peaceful face for the remainder of the film.

I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to know what her lips felt like, what they tasted like. I wanted to impress her. I wanted her to like me just as I liked her. I began to inch closer to her. If I kissed her right now. she wouldn't know. She was sound asleep. I think I spent three hours, long after the movie finished, in the dark trying to make up my mind. I wanted to kiss her. I had to kiss her. I had to know.

Days passed and Thalia and I texted each other more than ever. I read her and sent her poetry in French which I had to translate so she could understand. Each poem was specifically picked. It always meant something more to me although she thought I was sending it because I simply liked it.

One of my favorite poems by Anne Herbert has a stanza:

 _Toi, ta parole et ton silence, ta vie et ta beauté, ton amour me ramènent inlassablement, tel un rosier sauvage qu'on allume dans la nuit, sous la pluie._

Even though she and I weren't dating my growing love for her left me crazy, restless. I couldn't sleep because I realized that everything I knew was deteriorating. This savage rosebush that would wrestle with me for fun didn't know what was stirring inside of me. She drove me cray and it was wrong. A) She was a girl. B) She was my best friends sister and C) She was _girl_! I never liked girls that way but there was something about Thalia. What was so special about her that I saw myself wanting to kiss her, hold her hand in the halls and make her happy with unconditional love?

My realization of this made me take out my anger on Thalia. Why did she have to be so cute? Why couldn't I hang out with Jason without her having to be there? I told myself that it was better to push her away and make up a lame excuse to her and Jason about why I couldn't be her friend anymore. And that's exactly what I did. Thalia noticed because my phone began to blow up with invites to the movies or lunch or with poems.

 **November 30**

I came home from my work out to a huge text message where Thalia called me out for being a coward. She explained that if I didn't want to be her friend that I should just tell her upfront instead of making her invest time in a friendship that was one sided.

 **Don't bother explaining yourself. I'm over it.**

Reading that, I felt like crap. Panic seized me and I fumbled with the keys on my phone.

"What?" came the voice over the line.

"Thalia, I'm sorry."

She sighed. "Reyna, whatever. If you don't want to be my friend, it's okay. I'm a hard person to like...I just wish you had been honest in the first place, instead of being a two faced bitch."

I began to cry because that wasn't the case. I wanted to explain myself. I wasn't two faced, I was simply in awe by her and it hurt that we could never be a possibility. Thalia heard my sobbing for a good five minutes until I quieted down. At home, I was curled up into a ball beside my bed with snot glistening on my knees.

"What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, believe me, Thal."

"Then what the fuck?"

I should have left it at that but my mouth said otherwise. "I just can't be your friend, Thalia?"

"Why not?"

"I just can't! Please don't ask me to explain."

"How are you going to call me, waste my time and not tell me why?"

"I CAN'T."

"You know what, I'm done. Girls are so dramatic anyway. You don't want to be my friend? Fine. I don't nee-"

"I can't be your friend because I like you! God, Thalia. Is that what you wanted to hear? Now you know. And we can never be together because it's so wrong. I can't be your friend because it's painful to look at you knowing you'd never like me the way I like you and Jason better not find out about this becau-"

"You like me?"

"Have you not been listening to me?"

The line was silent save for my occasional sniffles. Thalia then spoke. "Why? How? When? Tell me."

And so I did. We were on the phone for two hours while I confessed everything to her. I asked her if she was grossed out by me and Thalia's reply was that no, she was just surprised. She didn't know how to interact with the opposite sex let alone the same sex. Then she grew cold and distant. I felt her shut me out when she told her she had to go.

"This is why we can't be friends," I whispered.

"Reyna...I just need time to think.I'll see you at school, okay?" Thalia hung up.

 **DECEMBER 1ST**

I didn't sleep that night. I cried out about 20 gallons of tears. I considered skipping school but I went. Tuition was too damn expensive to miss. When I saw Thalia in the hall that morning, she didn't even bother looking at me. I ducked into a classroom and sobbed because I knew things would never be the same. It'd only be a matter of time before she told her brother and they'd both be disgusted. I was disgusted.

Surprisingly I made it through the rest of my classes when I found myself face to face with Thalia. She scrutinized me before speaking. "Can I come over? We need to talk?"

I couldn't look at her in the eyes. I didn't want to talk. I wanted this humiliation to be over. I wanted to die, but I agreed. Thalia and I sat in her car later that evening talking and to my surprise, she was very calm as I recounted everything from the beginning.

Thalia was silent. She pushed her short hair back like she did when she was exasperated. "I had see you face to face to know," she told me.

"Know what?"

"To know if we could make things work. I figured, why not? If I'm ever to be with a girl, I'd rather it be you, Reyna, than anyone else..."

We sat in the car for about two hours getting to know each other a bit more and figuring out what it'd mean to date. It'd have to be in secret: from our parents, friends, Jason, school and public. It also couldn't be too serious because it was something new for the both of us. We shook hands, awkwardly, and then parted ways. I lay in bed that night, excited but also nervous because I had gotten what I wanted but I knew there had to a cost.


End file.
